Navigating a 'weird funk'

I’ve had to take a number of deep breaths today and try and distract myself from the weird funk I feel. So, tonight I am lighting some candles, pouring myself a glass of wine and putting fingers to the keys.

Because candles are meant to be burnt, good wine is no good in the bottle and the elation I feel from writing can’t be found in too much else.

The world finds itself in a challenged space once again. Last year we thought that it was uncommon for so much hardship and heartbreak to be occurring all at once. This year I believe we are more attune to it, for a couple of reasons - 1. We have been through a lot in the last 18 months, all in our own personal ways 2. Never have we been so awake to global news and 3. I honestly believe there is more good in this world than bad (which I recognise is incredibly hard to swallow on a day like today).

There are examples of wonderful acts of compassion and service daily, neighbours helping neighbours, young people advocating for peace and kindness, a woman gave me her shopping bag last week because I forgot mine. People want to help, they just often need to be given a way to do so. If you are in a space where you need something, don’t be afraid to reach out, you won’t be judged, your vulnerability will be celebrated. We are building a society of compassion and kindness, if you are reading this I know you feel that too! There is new found knowing that not everyone is perfect, nor is anyone expected to be perfect. Plus with humility and a recognising of what it means to be human, our time will come too, the time when we will need assistance or help from someone else.

Like my mind, this writing may jump all over the place. I am just going to follow it, go with the flow and not aim for perfection myself. If you are still reading, thanks for coming along the journey.

I’ve been pondering how to get myself out of this weird funk. I know I should pick up a journal and a pen and I was really hoping to be in Alice Springs today, to commence the Larapinta trail. Deep down I know I was looking for rejuvenation and perhaps even a revelation, about what I am not sure?! I do know though, that we hold all the answer inside us, they are already there. I guess it was the space for introspection and the connection to land that I was hoping would guide me there.

Instead I sit in my sunken lounge, with the cutest doggo in the world by my side. I’ve just watched the sunset and the evening star shine bright. The candles emit an orange light, funnily enough that orange colour was what I was chasing on the desert hike.

Inhale calm, exhale fear. Deep gutsy breaths that I feel in my chest. Close your eyes, be taken to another life. It’s not there you want to be, that short visit will make you see.

I am writing these for myself, but thought I would also share. Prompts always help me and often lead to unexpected responses. So grab a pen, light a candle, lock your door and spend time uninterrupted.

1. What five things you are grateful for? (keep on writing if you flow to five)

2. If you picked an emotion you are feeling right now what would it be?

3. Why do you think that word pops up?

4. When you need space where can you go?

5. Name three people you can call, no matter when or why!

6. What are three things you like to listen to that lighten your mood?

7. There is a strength within you, where did that form?

8. What three people do you admire and why?

9. What can you learn from those that you admire?

10. Where is it that you wish to go?

11. What makes you smile? (I was once taught that these are your 10s. Things that make you smile everyday no matter the day, no matter how many times you see them, or hold them, or notice them. I believe the act of just listing them can keep them alive. Five for me right now are gifs, doggos [especially when they hang their head out a car window], a country beat, the sunset or rise [the colours of the sky], holding a warm tea or coffee in my hand [a hug in a mug])

12. Name three events you have been a part of in the last six months that make you smile?

13. Four things that always make you laugh?

14. What are you chasing?

15. What do you need?

16. Three actions that would help you get there?

17. I am most proud that I…

18. Five things I have achieved that I will tell my kids or future friend are…

19. I need to…

20. What I have to offer the world is…

Alrighty, I am off to journal and pour another wine. If you get a chance to sit with a pen, please let me know. Sending you love and strength!

PS: You will find the strength from within, it’s there I promise you!

with Love from Bel x

PPS: I recently found a donkey to feed within my 10km radius! I hope he makes you smile... he liked his carrots, if you want to know what I mean send me a message.